dbag #30: sir yells at tv

its two  in the morning and i am woken up out of a dead sleep by the sound of my then boyfriend screaming…”WHAAAAAT THE HELL…THAT WAS A DIRECT HEAD SHOT…COME ON THIS IS UN-FUCKING-BELIEVEABLE, HOW DID HE NOT DIE!” i go running out into the living room, expecting to see some sort of scuffle.. a great deal of blood…and possibly a stranger with a gun shot wound to the head who apparently didnt die so im figuring is pretty pissed and there maybe some guns or something involved…not that i myself had a weapon of any sort…but hey im white and you know us white girls…we just go running towards the sound of impending doom full out with no second thoughts… i mean thats what scary movies taught us to do. as my eyes get adjusted to the light i blink a few times and i guess looked downright confused cause dude was like “whats wrong with you?” well gee buck-o..since  it seems that all is well and nobodies life is in danger besides…hmmm lets see XxX69LoVerXxX on call of duty… i guess im confused as to what the hell you were screaming for?!? “that just messed up my kill streak!” WTF seriously!? like is it really that serious to make me all but pee my pants not to mention wake me up and i hate being woken up? please somebody explain! while you are at it also explain the screaming at athletes while they are playing… on the tv! HEEEEELLLLLOOOOO they cant hear you! i doubt that you are going to be like “what the hell ref….what kind of call was that? he was safe… get your eyes checked ref!” and the batter is going to turn directly to the camera and say…’why yes Bob in Miami Flordia in apartment 12B.. i concur that i was indeed safe, so thank you ever so much for your support.”…and the umpire is going to put on their glasses and be like “gee…well, i believe i made a mistake!” really?! maybe its just because im not a huge sport fan. yeah i watch my daughters and yes i yell (nice, encouraging) things to them…but they can hear me… i know because they are like “god, mom, you are so embarrassing”. anyway is there some sort of man code thing that says youre not a real fan or gamer unless you yell at the tv? i must have missed the memo somewhere cause its stupid as all get out to me. “hey there kyle, lets go down to the bar and yell at the tv for about 3 hours”… pretend like they actually make a difference in how the game is gonna end, maybe even throw their team hat on the ground in a moment of pure disgust that they ran the monkey play instead of the billygoat play..”even though i was shoutin run the monkey…come on coach run the monkey play… for like a half an hour..but did they listen to me?! noooo…and hell look at them now a bunch of losers.. i should be a coach… that high school football i played gave me experience.” no duh they didnt listen to you…cause they cant freaking HEAR you! you just killed your vocal cords for to good reason…stop doing that already its stupid! heres the thing people (women included) get worked up over sports or video games (although its beyond me as to why) but if your boyfriend has ever woke you up at 2am thinking a serial killer was in the house or going outside..OUTSIDE at like midnight after the steelers won the super bowl and yelled at the top of his lungs while running up and down the sidewalk “THE STEELERS FUCKING ROCK! HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO! WOOOOOOOOO-WHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!” for at least 5 mins  and having a neighbor yell back “SHUT THE EFFF UP OR ELSE!”( which may actually lead to a murderer being in my house (to which i didnt learn my lesson from the c.o.d debacle) and i still dont have anything to protect myself with)….well then the magic 8 ball says ‘all signs point to yes’ that he is a dbag!

until next time xoxoxo frances