some guys just look like dbags…i can hear people saying well just cause he dresses in a certain way that doesnt make him a dbag per say.. well this is how i look at it: if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, walks like a duck…its a damn duck, same applies to dbags. to be 100% honest i have talked to these guys before and i think they all have a missing or an extra chromosome or something cause they are all dumb as nails, they cant string together a logical sentence to save their lives (more on that topic later) that doesnt pertain to A. what makes them awesome B. how much they can lift at the gym or C. how wasted they got last night and puked in their moms rose garden. dont even get me started on the dumb phrases they use… if i hear a grown ass man say.. ‘cool story bro’ or ‘yolo’ or ‘swag’ or “thats what she said’ (like at stupid times.. ie “i ate the best sticky bun today” dbag: “hahaha..dude thats what she said.” ok not funny after the millionth time, get enough) one more time i may literally scream. its even worse now that its getting warmer, these swag-a-riffic dbags are coming out of the woodwork like some really tan, skinny sideburn wearing, cockroaches with really big biceps… and the thing that sucks about cockroaches you can stomp on those bastards and think they are dead.. see their legs twitch and everything.. but give them 20 minuets and that thing is up and running again like it has some sort of super powers.. same thing with these dbags, no matter how many times you turn them down they just keep freaking coming back! you cant get rid of them..seriously! i once dated this guy who as soon as the weather got warm he turned into a major dbag.. in fact he insisted on referring to HIMSELF as a ‘juice head’.. we are from central PA… dude was all but transparent and my biceps were bigger than his.. but he swore a little lifting and enough hair gel a juice head of him did make! maybe its the lights in the tanning beds or the lack of actual oxygen in the hollister stores or all the hair products seeping into the blood stream that are causing these guys to get stupider and more persistent and more douche-y, but honestly i blame the whole jersey shore series for this shameful epidemic.
until next time xoxoxo frances
101 dbags in tinfoil 